Adjusting to the changes that occur during or after a divorce is often quite challenging for former spouses who share children. There may be resentment or unresolved issues that could make their relationship as co-parents strained and difficult. However, it is important for former spouses to remember that co-parenting is not about them, but rather about their children. Therefore, on behalf of your children, it is vital for you and your ex to nurture a functional and cooperative co-parenting relationship.
We compiled a list of tips that should help you and your co-parent effectively raise your kids together:
- Try to set aside your differences: Understandably, this might be easier said than done, but it co-parenting is about focusing on the well-being of your children and maintaining stability in their lives. Of course, you should not bottle your feelings in, so consider finding other outlets for them. For example, you could hire a therapist or vent to your friends. However you choose to relieve your emotional burdens, make sure you never unleash a rant about your ex-spouse on your children. Poisoning them against their other parent is harmful and will only make the situation worse. Additionally, they should never be used as messengers either. Your kids should never end up in the middle of a battle between you and your co-parent. Leave them out of it.
- Work on your communication skills: Communication is key in any relationship, especially one in which you are co-parenting children. The best way to become effective co-parents is for the two of you to work on your communication skills. Keep all of your conversations focused on your children to avoid getting into topics that might only lead to heated arguments. Try to be a better listener. Oftentimes, misunderstandings and problems arise when people are too quick to react and fail to really listen to one another. Lastly, consider setting a tone that resembles how you would speak with a co-worker. It will help you both keep things calm and cordial.
- Aim for teamwork: Parenting children is tough, regardless if you are still married, so aim for quality teamwork to make sure your children’s needs are being met. Coordinate on setting similar rules in both households and use the same system of consequences your children disobey the rules. If you encounter disagreements, try to work toward a compromise and meet each other in the middle. Remember, co-parenting is not about winning.
- Make drop-offs and pick-ups less emotional: Goodbyes are hard for everyone involved, but it is your job as a parent to make them easier on your children. This means you should help prepare your children for change a couple of days before they visit their other parent and, if your children are too young to pack for themselves, help them do it to avoid forgetting anything important. If possible, it is always best to drop your children off rather than picking them up since your children might feel like you are taking them away. Parents should also help their children readjust when they are back in their household.
Compassionate Family Law Attorneys in Louisville
Divorce can be hard on a family, which is why it is important to hire skilled legal representation to help get you through this as smoothly as possible. At Law Office of Todd K. Bolus, PLLC in Louisville, our skilled family law attorney is here to help you navigate a number of family law matters, including divorce and issues pertaining to child custody. Backed by more than two decades of legal experience, you can feel confident that our attorney is prepared to assist you.
Contact our law firm today at (502) 272-9596 to request a confidential consultation.